So today is our first bump-in day, can’t believe Intersection is almost here. Things are finally falling into place, Intersection is going to be slightly unconventional, and I hope the audience will come to appreciate it. I can’t say I’ve enjoyed every moment of this journey – I’ve had my unhappy moments – but it doesn’t matter anymore, just gonna dance my heart out on Wednesday. I’ve been seeing the Emixers everyday for the past several weeks, I’m definitely gonna miss that.
Shiwei’s item is finally starting to take shape too. =) We’re left we working on the couples’ chemistry and nailing my CRAZY quick change (<15 seconds). I never had to do such a fast quick change before, omg. The item isn’t one with explosive energy unlike those you see in typical hip hop pieces, but I hope the audience will enjoy it nevertheless.
Gonna leave office soon. Couldn’t focus at work the whole morning, although I didn’t have much work to do anyway, because all I really want to do now is to be at the NLB Drama Centre.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Bailamos 2010 is over. In the last few weeks I couldn’t wait to get it over and done with because I found it so time consuming – with trainings thrice a week just for one item – and I wanted to focus on Intersection instead. Not forgetting the frustration and fear whenever I practiced the stunts with Jerry. But Bailamos was good. Jerry and I have great chemistry and our partner work was smooth and we nailed all our stunts nicely. :) It was my best Bailamos to date, because although this item was challenging, we managed to put up a decent show and made a good closing item out of it. The venue and programme flow was much better this time round. Also, there’s nothing more heartwarming than having the Emixers come down to support us despite being pressed for time for preparing for Intersection, especially Shiwei, who was the first in the queue! Haha. But I’m a little wistful because that might be my last time dancing in the same item as the year 4s.
Time to focus on Intersection now. It's going to be quite different from the other typical hip hop dance concerts. While it’s exciting to see things falling into place, this production has not been without it’s own ups and downs. A while back, something about this production made me upset. It’s been more or less rectified now, and I guess I must really care that much for him to be willing give up something that I really liked. That aside, getting to meet him everyday (be it at trainings or after trainings) has been a major reason why I look forward to after-work hours. I think it’s obvious now, how much I adore him. :)
I’m 2 weeks into my internship and it’s so tiring to juggle work and intensive dance trainings like that. If anyone wonders why the hell we put ourselves through this, well, it just gotta be our passion that keeps us going.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
the stars must be your light tonight
Since our first date, I've begun to miss him whenever we don’t see each other. I look forward to dance trainings not only because I get to see the dancers, but also because I get to see him. I look forward to his own trainings in particular, because we get to do our partner work together, and I'm secretly happy whenever I look into his eyes when we dance our partner work.
Being with him is easy and comfortable. Being myself around him is effortless, because we have already been friends for a while, and he has seen me in my happy, insane, unglam, sad, bimbotic, bitchy, act-slutty, post-training-sweaty-and-haggard-looking moments. There isn’t a need to put up a front. Knowing this has made it all the more easier for falling fall him.
I’m deeply smitten with him. There are many pleasant emotions that come with say, performing at major concerts, doing well for my 'A' Levels, or having a really great time with my good friends. But there's nothing quite like the feeling of being in love. It is exhilarating and scary at the same time. Exhilarating because it brings me to highs that I’ve not experienced in a long while. It makes me unknowingly smile to myself or skip a step or two when I walk. It makes me feel light-headed and I have no control over that. Scary because it takes a hell lot of courage to let my guard down like that and be vulnerable to getting hurt. I've always thought that it's important to protect myself, but here I am, letting someone so deep into my world. But I believe that he’s a good person.
I've been staying away from relationships for a long time, maybe it's about time to give one a shot again. :)
Being with him is easy and comfortable. Being myself around him is effortless, because we have already been friends for a while, and he has seen me in my happy, insane, unglam, sad, bimbotic, bitchy, act-slutty, post-training-sweaty-and-haggard-looking moments. There isn’t a need to put up a front. Knowing this has made it all the more easier for falling fall him.
I’m deeply smitten with him. There are many pleasant emotions that come with say, performing at major concerts, doing well for my 'A' Levels, or having a really great time with my good friends. But there's nothing quite like the feeling of being in love. It is exhilarating and scary at the same time. Exhilarating because it brings me to highs that I’ve not experienced in a long while. It makes me unknowingly smile to myself or skip a step or two when I walk. It makes me feel light-headed and I have no control over that. Scary because it takes a hell lot of courage to let my guard down like that and be vulnerable to getting hurt. I've always thought that it's important to protect myself, but here I am, letting someone so deep into my world. But I believe that he’s a good person.
I've been staying away from relationships for a long time, maybe it's about time to give one a shot again. :)
Sunday, January 3, 2010
I should be preparing for my interview now, but let me digress for a while.
It's amazing how things can happen so unexpectedly.
Shiwei and I, we first met when he came to Emix, but we only got to know each other better when I worked with him in his item for Raw. I must admit that at times I felt physically attracted to him, because of the close proximity of the physical contact between us when we danced, and also because he was very charismatic. But I always dismissed it and never let that attraction developed into anything more because he was attached.
Wednesday, 30th December, the Emixers went to club at Butter Factory. Shiwei got high and tipsy, and did and said things to me, that were well, out of the ordinary. After we got home, he apologized for it in an sms and revealed that he liked me, but had always kept it to himself as has was attached. But he thought it was about time he made his feelings toward me known as he had decided to go separate ways from his girlfriend. It took me by surprise, as I thought that after that night, we would just tell each other to forget whatever had happened and be normal. I knew he always doted on me, and he said nice things, but it never occurred to me that he could be interested in me, simply because he was attached, and his girlfriend was very a different person from me.
I've always doted on Shiwei a lot, because he was my partner. Although I did not think of him or miss him when I did not see him, looking back, I think unknowingly I might have been harbouring something for him all along. That night, the attraction I felt towards him was pretty intense (which is why I didn't resist when he held me), and I experienced feelings that I haven't had in a long time. That night at Butter Factory changed many things - it removed the barriers that had held us back from showing our emotions, and it revealed to me emotions that I didn't know exist. I must say the turn of events was sudden, even as I write this, I feel a little breathless when I think about what has happened in the past few days, especially how we have gone from friends to more than friends in the span of a mere few hours.
We went out alone today, and I enjoyed myself with him. Only a few people know how he feels, but they do not know what's going on at my side. Until he sort things out with his girlfriend, I'm keeping quiet about many things, as I do not want to complicate matters, and neither can I be very sure about what's in it for us until he makes a clean break with her. I told him to take time to let things settle down before we take our friendship a step further. I want to take things slow too, for there are many things I want to know about him.
For now, we're getting along well. Here's to the next few weeks ahead.
It's amazing how things can happen so unexpectedly.
Shiwei and I, we first met when he came to Emix, but we only got to know each other better when I worked with him in his item for Raw. I must admit that at times I felt physically attracted to him, because of the close proximity of the physical contact between us when we danced, and also because he was very charismatic. But I always dismissed it and never let that attraction developed into anything more because he was attached.
Wednesday, 30th December, the Emixers went to club at Butter Factory. Shiwei got high and tipsy, and did and said things to me, that were well, out of the ordinary. After we got home, he apologized for it in an sms and revealed that he liked me, but had always kept it to himself as has was attached. But he thought it was about time he made his feelings toward me known as he had decided to go separate ways from his girlfriend. It took me by surprise, as I thought that after that night, we would just tell each other to forget whatever had happened and be normal. I knew he always doted on me, and he said nice things, but it never occurred to me that he could be interested in me, simply because he was attached, and his girlfriend was very a different person from me.
I've always doted on Shiwei a lot, because he was my partner. Although I did not think of him or miss him when I did not see him, looking back, I think unknowingly I might have been harbouring something for him all along. That night, the attraction I felt towards him was pretty intense (which is why I didn't resist when he held me), and I experienced feelings that I haven't had in a long time. That night at Butter Factory changed many things - it removed the barriers that had held us back from showing our emotions, and it revealed to me emotions that I didn't know exist. I must say the turn of events was sudden, even as I write this, I feel a little breathless when I think about what has happened in the past few days, especially how we have gone from friends to more than friends in the span of a mere few hours.
We went out alone today, and I enjoyed myself with him. Only a few people know how he feels, but they do not know what's going on at my side. Until he sort things out with his girlfriend, I'm keeping quiet about many things, as I do not want to complicate matters, and neither can I be very sure about what's in it for us until he makes a clean break with her. I told him to take time to let things settle down before we take our friendship a step further. I want to take things slow too, for there are many things I want to know about him.
For now, we're getting along well. Here's to the next few weeks ahead.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
This year, I pondered on and worried for my life and future a lot more. I feared over the competition around me, I feared that I may never find my true direction in life nor be the best that I can be, I feared that somewhere along the way I'd get tired of dreaming and wanting. I've not found the answers to my fears, but life goes on anyway, and we've just gotta keep walking and believe that things will eventually work themselves out.
This year, I learnt that you can have so much unfairness dealt to you, and even then, sometimes there's nothing you can do but just to suck it up, move on, and be more careful.
This year, I've become far more judgemental. My friends once said I see the good side of people too easily, this has probably changed. I don't know if this is good or tragic.
This year, I've come to realize how superficial people can be, and let go of people who have never made an effort to be a friend, it wasn't hard to do so when this dawned on me. At the same time, I'm once again thankful for friends who were by my side when I was down, and who loved me despite my flaws.
This year, I saw many of my friends go through breakups, and while I had some emotional downs of my own, I'm glad that I was spared from the far more heart wrenching ones.
This year, I had one of my best academic semesters in the most recent one. I had a renewed interest for Econs after taking IE(B), thanks to Ruanjai. I guess it's true, you do well when you enjoy what you're studying. I hope it gets better from here.
Finally, like every other year, I've taken away awesome memories like RAW, MSF and other random moments with friends and the dancers.
Next year, I'll be very busy at the start of the year, with Bailamos and Intersection to juggle. I thought of taking the semester off to do an internship, so that my after-work hours would be really for me to focus on dancing. But I would be very tired everyday at work, and now I wonder if it's better to have a regular semester and take 4 modules instead. Although I'll need to juggle meetings and consistent revision with a crazy frequency of trainings, at least I'll have more flexibility with my time. We'll see how it goes - that what I always say, fickle-minded me.
I hope the dance clubs will get to go overseas. I hope I'll get to go on exchange, but it's okay if I don't. I was sad over not being able to go to Mexico, I did a whole lot of thinking and came to this, exchange is after all, still just... exchange. I know you get to travel, meet new people, have a hell lot of fun and freedom, and you really really want to go on overseas exchange too when all your friends around you get to do so and they post pretty pictures on Facebook and come back with exciting stories to tell... but it's not something that I'd die without ya know? Money's going to be an issue for me - I don't want to use my parents' money, but neither am I keen to take a loan and start my working life in debt either.
Next year I'll try to blog more as well. Till then, goodnight.
This year, I learnt that you can have so much unfairness dealt to you, and even then, sometimes there's nothing you can do but just to suck it up, move on, and be more careful.
This year, I've become far more judgemental. My friends once said I see the good side of people too easily, this has probably changed. I don't know if this is good or tragic.
This year, I've come to realize how superficial people can be, and let go of people who have never made an effort to be a friend, it wasn't hard to do so when this dawned on me. At the same time, I'm once again thankful for friends who were by my side when I was down, and who loved me despite my flaws.
This year, I saw many of my friends go through breakups, and while I had some emotional downs of my own, I'm glad that I was spared from the far more heart wrenching ones.
This year, I had one of my best academic semesters in the most recent one. I had a renewed interest for Econs after taking IE(B), thanks to Ruanjai. I guess it's true, you do well when you enjoy what you're studying. I hope it gets better from here.
Finally, like every other year, I've taken away awesome memories like RAW, MSF and other random moments with friends and the dancers.
Next year, I'll be very busy at the start of the year, with Bailamos and Intersection to juggle. I thought of taking the semester off to do an internship, so that my after-work hours would be really for me to focus on dancing. But I would be very tired everyday at work, and now I wonder if it's better to have a regular semester and take 4 modules instead. Although I'll need to juggle meetings and consistent revision with a crazy frequency of trainings, at least I'll have more flexibility with my time. We'll see how it goes - that what I always say, fickle-minded me.
I hope the dance clubs will get to go overseas. I hope I'll get to go on exchange, but it's okay if I don't. I was sad over not being able to go to Mexico, I did a whole lot of thinking and came to this, exchange is after all, still just... exchange. I know you get to travel, meet new people, have a hell lot of fun and freedom, and you really really want to go on overseas exchange too when all your friends around you get to do so and they post pretty pictures on Facebook and come back with exciting stories to tell... but it's not something that I'd die without ya know? Money's going to be an issue for me - I don't want to use my parents' money, but neither am I keen to take a loan and start my working life in debt either.
Next year I'll try to blog more as well. Till then, goodnight.
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