I used to tell people that I would quit Emix by the end of Year 3 to free up time for myself, and also because I've already been doing hip hop for a while and I wanted to learn the latin ballroom dance instead. I take back my word now, because through preparing for RAW, I've grown more and more attached to this club. RAW trainings have been so joyful for me and I don't want RAW to be over.

It's not just that, I love the familarity of walking into Level 7 and seeing the Emixers. Now that Ryan has taken a step back and given us more control over the reigns, we've bonded well through giving each other ideas, feedbacks and helping each other out. Not to mention the talent I see through the student choreographies make me feel so proud of Emix.

I don't deny there are times where I dread Emix trainings, especially when Ryan teaches us popping and locking. But one of the reasons why I've stayed on is because I'm still attracted to the freedom to express that hip hop gives. It's unlike Salsa - we smile, be cheeky, be sexy, and I love being/acting sexy, but that's about it. In hip hop we can be cheeky/sexy and more - we can take on many personas like gangsters, diva, pop star, geeks, robots, a person in love or broken-hearted, etc. And I love taking on different personas... maybe because being myself means I scrutinize my own shortcomings too much... and escaping into another persona helps me to ignore to discontentment I feel toward myself for a while.

I guess learning Latin Ballroom will just have to wait.

Right now I hope that RAW will go ahead as planned, and not be affected by the threat of H1N1. Emix has grown since Dance Garage, and people need to see this.

what it means to have goosebumps.

I love the first video a lot because I can relate to chemistry and emotions which SW and I are suppose to have for our dance. Although today's vetting didn't please Ryan, I'm glad I managed to pull off a decent act of broken-heartedness and depression, given it was my first time doing something like that! =)

SYTYCD Phillip & Jeanine Hip Hop - MAD by Ne-Yo



SYTYCD Allison & Ivan - Sexy Love by Ne-Yo

beautiful.

Perhaps some day the sun will shine again,
And I shall see that still the skies are blue,
And feel once more I do not live in vain,
Although bereft of You.

Perhaps the golden meadows at my feet
Will make the sunny hours of spring seem gay,
And I shall find the white May-blossoms sweet,
Though You have passed away.

Perhaps the summer woods will shimmer bright,
And crimson roses once again be fair,
And autumn harvest fields a rich delight,
Although You are not there.

But though kind Time may many joys renew,
There is one greatest joy I shall not know
Again, because my heart for loss of You
Was broken, long ago.